Ward Conference Talk

It seems that everywhere I look, I see families impacted by poor relationships. I feel like far to many Moms & Dads have ceased to function as Husband & Wife. It has been on my mind for some time now. What follows is the outline used to address my Ward last Sunday in our annual Conference. I feel like it went well. I am already aware of a few who seem to have taken some part of it to heart. If just one relationship is salvaged & tragedy averted it is enough.......but I certainly hope for more.

For What it's Worth

Ryan

· General principles for discussion

o “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value.” Thomas Paine

o “If you wish information & improvement from the knowledge of others, and yet at the same time express yourself as firmly fixed in your present opinions, modest, sensible men, who do not love disputation, will probably leave you undisturbed in the possession of your error. And by such a manner, you can seldom hope to recommend yourself in pleasing your hearers, or to persuade those whose concurrence you desire.” Benjamin Franklin

· The Family: A proclamation to the World

o “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

§ “The sweet companionship of eternal marriage is one of the greatest blessings given to his children.” Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

§ “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall ^acleave unto his ^bwife; and ^cthey shall be ^done flesh.” – Moses 3:24 or Genesis 2:24

§ “…lift up thy heart and ^brejoice, and cleave unto the covenants which thou hast made. Continue in the spirit of meekness, and beware of ^apride.” - D&C 25:13

§ “Determine that there will never be anything that will come between you that will disrupt your marriage. Make it work. Resolve to make it work. There is far too much of divorce, wherein hearts are broken and sometimes lives are destroyed. Be fiercely loyal onto another.” President Gordon B. Hinckley

§ “Depart ye not one from the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that ^bSatan ^ctempt you not for your incontinency.” - JST 1Corinthians 7:5

o “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other…”

§ “Thou shalt ^alove thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt ^bcleave unto her and none else.” – D&C 42:22

§ “Husbands, ^blove your ^cwives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” – Ephesians 5:25

§ “Let me assure you brethren, that someday you will have a Personal Priesthood interview with the Savior Himself…..he will request an accountability report about your relationship with your wife. Have you been actively engaged in making her happy and ensuring that her needs have been met as an individual.” - Pres. David O. Mckay

§ “Let the ^ahusband render unto the ^bwife due ^cbenevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. – 1 Corinthians 7: 3

· Tammie & I

o Dating & courtship

§ Lots of time

§ Spontaneous gifts & visits

o Marriage

§ “We loved each other; there was no doubt about that, but we also had to get used to each other. I think every couple has to get used to each other. Early on I realized it would be better if we worked harder to get used to each other than constantly try to change each other.” Sister Marjorie P. Hinckley

§ “Husbands and wives, learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another… Taking time to talk is essential to keep lines of communication intact. If marriage is a prime relationship in life, it deserves prime time! Yet less important appointments are often given priority, leaving only leftover moments for listening to precious partners.” Elder Russell M. Nelson

· Tammie gave up all comforts, everything to which she was accustomed, for us. Me? I was clueless.

o 50 hours a week work

o Remodeling house & yard

o Clerk in Ward

o Read incessantly

· Moved to Price -

o Both out of comfort zone

o I continued in cluelessness

o New branch

§ 50+ hours week

§ Homework

o Church Leadership

o New home

· I was pitifully slow in recognizing that Her needs were not being met.

o Habits are slow to change

o “How’s that working for ya?”

o Today

§ I’m still mostly clueless, but improving

§ What I know

· I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!

· Tammie is wonderful – I would be much less a man w/o Her.

· What matters most is what lasts longest” – Elder Ballard Oct 2005

· "One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
— Howard W. Hunter

· Importance of the Family

o We know of the sanctity of families in both directions of our eternal existence. We know that before this life we lived with our Heavenly Father as part of His family, and we know that family relationships can endure beyond death.

o The world needs to know what the proclamation teaches, because the family is the basic unit of society, of the economy, of our culture, and of our government. And as Latter-day Saints know, the family will also be the basic unit in the celestial kingdom.

o “When Satan wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he doesn’t poison the world’s peanut butter supply, thus bringing the Church’s missionary system to its collective knees. He doesn’t send a plague of laryngitis to afflict the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He doesn’t legislate against green Jell-O or casseroles. When Satan truly wants to disrupt the work of the Lord, he attempts to confuse gender and he attacks God’s plan for His children. He works to drive a wedge of disharmony between a father and a mother. He entices children to be disobedient to their parents. He makes family home evening and family prayer inconvenient. He suggests family scripture study is impractical. That’s all it takes, because Satan knows that the surest and most effective way to disrupt the Lord’s work is to diminish the effectiveness of the family and the sanctity of the home.

o Couples unhappy in their marriages tend not to give appropriate gospel instruction in the home. They are less likely to be committed to gospel principles in their own lives. Some drift from the Church. Apathy can overcome even active members, keeping them away from the temple and weakening their capacity to be effective leaders and teachers—thus leaving countless lives untouched and slowing the Lord’s work. – Elder Ballard

o We cannot have a strong family w/o a strong marital relationship. We have to love, care & support. We have to be united & working together.

· Prophets speak

o “We warn that individuals who… fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” - Proclamation

o “The proclamation is a prophetic document, not only because it was issued by prophets but because it was ahead of its time. It warns against many of the very things that have threatened and undermined families during the last decade and calls for the priority and the emphasis families need if they are to survive in an environment that seems ever more toxic to traditional marriage and to parent-child relationships.

o Today I call upon members of the Church and on committed parents, grandparents, and extended family members everywhere to hold fast to this great proclamation, to make it a banner not unlike General Moroni’s “title of liberty,” and to commit ourselves to live by its precepts. As we are all part of a family, the proclamation applies to everyone.

o To parents everywhere, my counsel is simple: Get a copy of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” Read it and strive to align your marriage and your family to its inspired, revealed direction from the Lord. Then be the very best and act the very best you can. God will give you strength beyond your own as you strive daily to fulfill the most sacred mortal responsibility He gives to His children. Listen to the voice of the Spirit and the counsel of the living prophets. Be of good cheer. God did not place you on earth to fail, and your efforts as parents will not be counted as failure unless you give up.” - Elder Ballard

· THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO EACH OF US IS OUR SPOUSE, MAY WE ACT ACCORDINGLY.

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value.” Thomas Paine